Friday, November 23, 2012

RIP Uncle Slayton

Alas, Uncle Slayton was zotted on November 1st.

Here are some of his more recent hits I've gathered:

Taking a hard line on early voting:
Early voting is the biggest threat to our nation and the Republican Party.

Measures beyond Voter ID and abolishing Early Voting must be taken to included US Passport required to vote, law enforcement officers at all polling stations, Criminal Background checks at all polling stations and repeal of the Voting Rights Act(s).
The trauma of lesbianism:
The picture of the two women kissing is shocking and utterly horrendous, I imagine that even more devastating for those who had to witness it on a public street and a Pro Family event.

I hope they will all be alright and the damage not lasting.
His own special birther conspiracy:
Maybe, somewhere along the way, in Indonesia, Kenya or Moscow there was a body switch where Davis and Russian agents neutralized the chunky Obama and replaced him with a kidnapped skinny Obama who was more receptive to KGB Programming.

That leaves just two questions, who is this Obama and from where was he taken and what happened to the original?
on Romney's humility:
when Mitt Romney is inaugurated in January, he will not have the arrogance of Obama and will not likely attempt to push his agenda through Congress.
His shock at the latest homosexual industry:
Who would have ever thought we would see the day when travel agents were gay?
His gay boycott may be impractical:
I must now boycott Expedia as they advocate Sodomite Marriage and since almost every domestic airline advocates Sodomite Marriage, I must also boycott all the airlines.

I could drive on my next trip, but many oil companies provide domestic partner benefits and cannot buy gas.

I can't even walk to my next vacation as the companies that sold me my shoes offer domestic partner benefits.
Obama better stop having fun!
At no point should an American president in a time of war watch football or anything else on TV.
BLACK PANTHERS
We will never really know how many hundreds of thousands or millions of voters that the Black Panthers intimidated and prevented from voting in the 2008 Election.
he knows Christians easily avoid the premarital nookie:
Staying celibate until marriage is only impossible for the children of liberals and non Christians. In almost all cases, you will find that the children of conservatives and Christians remain virgins until they are marries.
Prosecute Obama!
Obama could also be prosecuted for the murder of every US service member who died following under his false command and he could also be prosecuted for the murder of every non American who died and the hands of US forces.
Obama ruins Jonnie from Happy Days
Joanie was doing great when Eisenhower was in the White House.

Now, under Obama she is homeless.
The end is nigh!
With Obama in power and World leaders meeting in New York along with the current droughts and gay marriage in may US states, we could be in our final hours.

I think that makes it all that more important that we all vote early.
Indeed, Uncle Slayton.

Godspeed.

3 comments:

  1. Slayton was clearly a troll

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Trying to satirize Freepers never works. Just as Einstein realised that "c" is a universal constant, so it is with "f". To exceed "c" would require the impossible paradox of infinite energy and to exceed "f" would require equally impossible (though Freepers give it a damned good try) infinite stupidity.

      Delete
  2. I don't understand what happened, the last available comments by him seem perfectly uncontroversial (by freeper standards):

    http://freerepublic.com/tag/by:uncleslayton/index?tab=comments;brevity=full;options=no-change

    ReplyDelete